Russian Hooligans Begin Training For 2018 Varsity


Over 400 Russian football ultras have already started training in preparation for 2018’s varsity match between Brighton and Sussex Universities.

According to reports coming out of Moscow this morning the same hooligans who terrorised English supporters at Euro 16 are planning on making the trip over for next year’s tear up. The hardened thugs read on awe after news came out of a mass brawl at this year’s event. Inspired by scenes of spotty privileged oiks who have watched Green Street too many times, burning the bed sheets their poor mothers sent them off to uni with, many Russian’s have already purchased their flights. Gatwick Airport has confirmed a surge in planned arrivals from Moscow in March 2018.

This year’s event had to be called off after the future doctors and teachers of this world started lobbing bottles and shouting nasty names at each other. A third year student, who asked not to be named, said he was nervous about the prospect of the trained hooligans turning up at Falmer, ‘Yea it is a bit worrying, it got well out of hand this year. One year my mate Chris ran across the pitch with his balls out but nothing ever as bad as this. We seem to have stitched ourselves right up with the Russian’s getting wind off it; I don’t think we will be a match for them. A few of my mates have borrowed money off their parents to buy Stone Island jumpers so at least they will look the business when they are getting their heads kicked in’ he said sheepishly.

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