Work to Begin on Wall Between Brighton and Worthing as Early as Monday


The influence of the U.S election result has already started to be felt in Sussex as work on a 10 ft wall in Portslade to keep the people from Worthing out of Brighton and Hove set to start next week.

The wall which will stretch from the Hove Lagoon up Boundary road and through Mile Oak is set to be completed by early 2017. The wall will aim to keep people from Worthing coming into Brighton taking our jobs, using our roads and generally making the whole place look a bit untidy. Studies over the last year have proved the root of many of Brighton’s problems such as homelessness, the lack of parking, pubs getting away with selling Carling for £4 a pint, kids lobbing fireworks at the level and the revoking of The Bulldogs late licence are all down to Worthing immigrants.

Brighton City Council approved the plans last year after being inspired by the then, buffoon presenter of the American Apprentice and the now leader of the free world, Donald Trump. Just like America is set to make the Mexicans pay for the wall to keep themselves in, the people of Worthing are set to be burdened with the high construction costs. Worthing Council chiefs have already said they have been forced to scale down the town’s Christmas celebrations and will be forced to go to The Range for a fake Christmas tree and some shitty lights to decorate the town centre as well as announcing a hike in council tax.

The scheme has been met with a mixed reaction from both sides. Julie Williamson who lives in Hove said, ‘ Yea I’m pretty pleased to be honest. My old boss is from Worthing and he is a right dick so I can see why they are doing it, on the other hand I’m gutted that I won’t be able to get up to Tesco Holmbush anymore, it’s my favorite place for a big shop but you have to take the rough with the smooth I suppose. I know a lot of people who have lost their jobs to people from Worthing, we have to look after our own its time to make our our city great again’. Michael Bennett a Worthing resident who will no longer be able to travel into Brighton for work was not quite philosophical, ‘Yea it’s a piss take, just because that clown from America thinks he can do it I don’t see why the people of Worthing have to suffer. I will have to quit my job and I won’t be to make my Saturday trip to Pryzym. I don’t know what I’m going to do, to say I’m fucked off with this Trump fella is an understatement’ he said.

Despite the objections the council have confirmed that work will go ahead as planned with a mystery celebrity set to lay the first brick early next week.

One thought on “Work to Begin on Wall Between Brighton and Worthing as Early as Monday

  1. The real irony is that people are leaving Brighton to come to Worthing! But us truly liberal Worthingites (past 40 years of elections aside) will provide ladders for those wishing to escape the Brighton rat race for a cultural, relaxing and longer life in our ever surprising town.


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