BRIGHTON MAN STILL FINDING GLITTER IN HIS ARSE CRACK A WEEK ON FROM PRIDE

A Brighton man has described his situation as a ‘living nightmare’ after continuing to find glitter in his shitter a full SEVEN days on from the City’s LGBT festival.

Ben Pritchard  from Lewes Road contacted The Bullet as he had ‘run out of options’ after trying everything to rid his body of glitter. Ben, 26 had attended the three day event with friends, both of whom have now claimed to be all clear of glitter whilst Ben struggles on still picking glitter from the majority of orifices on his body.

‘At first it was quite funny, the boys at work on Monday thought it was funny when I shook my head and glitter rained down but now it is just annoying’,Ben, A call centre worker, described. ‘I have been going to Pride for 4 years, I don’t go to the park I just get blindo round my pals house then head to Kemp Town and maybe pop a gurner. I have never had it this bad. I have picked glitter out of my ear, arm pit, belly button and shit loads from my arse crack. I even found one bit under my toenail. It’s like I have swallowed a glitter ball, it’s driving me nuts’.

Out of options?

The glitter has now started affecting Ben’s home life, ‘It’s driving my bird up the wall, she is constantly on at me about having to hoover but I don’t know what I can do. I shower three or four times a day but it just can’t seem to shake it. The pissing stuff gets everywhere.’

Mr Pritchard has set up a JustGiving pager in order to raise enough money to hire a pressure washer to see if that will do the trick. The organisers of Pride declined to comment.