The public are being warned of the dangers saying, ‘Yea, fuck it, it’s Christmas’ to more or less anything this festive season, after a Brighton man was left in a terrible pickle following 72 hours or using the phrase.
Jeremy Dugmore was hospitalised after stopping giving two shits about his own personal and financial well-being as soon as the clock stuck midnight on the 30th of November. The 56 year old has been unable to walk past a pub since and generally stays for at least 10 pints because…. ‘fuck it, it’s Christmas’. Mr Dugmores’s calorie intake has also increased 10 fold as he has lived on a diet of cheese boards, takeaways and selection boxes because….. ‘fuck it, it’s Christmas’. Dugmore’s health problems have been confounded as he has been forced to re-mortgage his four bedroom family home after he spent 3 days buying anything and everything that he could lay his chubby little mitts on.
Mr Dugmore is currently receiving treatment for both his recently acquired diabetes at The Royal Sussex County Hospital, whilst his wife has been left to pick up the financial mess he has left behind. ‘The whole thing is a nightmare’, she exclusively told The Brighton Bulletin. ‘One day I have a happy healthy husband and the next he is out of his box 24/7 and spending our money like its going out of fashion, he has put us all through hell. The other day he came back from the pub at about 2pm absolutely steaming, the stupid git bought a new telly off the internet and then ate 56 pigs in blankets, 56!’ she fumed. ‘I was telling him to stop but he just kept saying fuck it, its Christmas and that’s when he collapsed and I had to call 999. I don’t give a shite if it Christmas, you just can’t act like that’ she concluded.
The Brighton Bulletin 
Absolutely Brilliant !!
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