Police Urge For Calm as Stocks of Lynx Africa Reach ‘Critically Low’ Levels

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Sussex Police have today issued a warning to last minute Christmas shoppers  not to sweat as retailers announced supplies of the trusty Lynx Africa gift sets have reached critically low levels.

The news of the shortage was announced yesterday evening on the official Lynx UK twitter page, with news of the drought quickly spreading across social media. Panicked last minute shoppers are now searching far and wide in order to get their hands on the sweet smelling Christmas stocking staple. Staff at Boots on Brighton’s North Street were greeted with a 30 strong queue as they opened the shop for the day, with many of the mums and aunties queuing in tents overnight. Their efforts were however in vain as Store Manager Greg Pullen announced the expected delivery had not arrived and they, like many other stores, had completely run out.

Sarah Keeble was one of those left disappointed, ‘We came all the way from Guildford as we heard that Brighton was getting a delivery. Me and my sister Cheryl stayed in this tent all night but it has all been for nothing, I’m beside myself with worry I have no idea what to do. I have bought my son Kevin the same set since 1998 when he was 12 and I’m not stopping now. I just don’t know how he would cope without it. The whole situation is extremely sad’ she said.

Lynx Africa is only mined in a very specific region of the Democratic Republic of Congo and it is widely thought that a miners strike in October and growing civil unrest in the country has led to the shortage. Whilst shops are running dry, savvy teenagers are attempting to cash in with half used Lynx Africa deodorants being advertised for as much as £700 on Ebay.

Sussex police have urged shoppers to remain calm amid reports of several incidents of Lynx related disorder across the county.

  • Police were called out after two middle aged women became embroiled in a fist fight over what they thought was the last Lynx Africa set in Savers in Hove. On arrival police confirmed the set was actually Axe Antarctica, a cheaper version that smells of shite.
  • Authorities have warned the public of numerous dealers attempting to sell fake gift sets and have advised shoppers only to buy from official outlets.
  • Traffic police have warned of a 10 mile tailback into Haywards Heath tonight after an unconfirmed twitter rumour of a delivery at the Town’s Superdrug store.

Are you searching for Lynx Africa? Have you got you got your hands on the holy grail? The Brighton Bulletin wants to hear from you – Brighton.Bulletin@outlook.com

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