Brighton Weight Loss Group Hails Cheesefest a Huge Success


A local slimmers group has come to the defence of an under fire Brighton cheese festival by congratulating the organisers on a ‘hugely successful event’.

The Brighton Bulge Burners, a 130 strong weight loss club, had 15 of its members attend the event on Saturday all of whom showed a ‘significant loss’ when reporting in for their Sunday weigh-in. Data showed that the average fat fighter left Cheesefest six pounds lighter.

Most of the participants had decided to use Cheesefest as their ‘cheat day’ and were looking forward to stuffing their cakeholes with cheese and booze. However instead of Brie and red wine punters were treated to a plate full of f*ck all with a side of thin air all washed down with a cold glass of diddly squat.

While many attendees turned to social media to voice their displeasure, Jenny Button the leader of the Brighton Bulge Burners, couldn’t believe her luck, ‘what a bloody brilliant idea’ she declared. ‘Tempt a load of people down to The Level with the offer of cheese but when they get their make them walk around trying desperately to locate the damn stuff! Absolute genius! Some of our group spent a whole eight hours down there trying to find a morsel of Cheddar. We checked poor Linda’s fit bit and she had walked 17 miles, she’s half a stone lighter but the poor girl is in bits, she can hardly walk. It was a cracking event and I personally cannot wait for next years cheese hunt… I mean fest’ she smirked.

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